


(Definitely Not) The SU Groupchat

by SoulStealer1987



Series: Starchasers [8]
Category: Warframe
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, don't know what that means?, it's a chatfic lads, you'll see soon :D
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulStealer1987/pseuds/SoulStealer1987
Summary: Legs:well i'm legs, nice to meetcha! i sell moas and i'll never cheat ya!Little Duck:biz where did you and eudi find this kid hes adorableLegs::DLittle Duck:bizLittle Duck:bizzzzzzLittle Duck:stop ignoring me bizzzzzzzzzzLegs won't stop rhyming, Little Duck is her usual delightful self, and Biz should really just give up on getting people to call him 'The Business', literally no one does. So, in short, it's just another cycle in Fortuna, and a groupchat that absolutely isn't remotely connected to Solaris United. Nope. Not atall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Eudico** created a chat with **The Business** , **Little Duck** , **Legs** , **Ticker** , **Smokefinger** , and **Rude Zuud**

 **Eudico** renamed chat to **Not the SU Groupchat**

 **Eudico:** have fun, I’ll be back in five

 **Little Duck:** lmaoooo

 **Little Duck:** love the name eudi

 **The Business:** Is it, perhaps a little bit on the obvious side?

 **Little Duck:** stfu its perfect

 **Smokefinger:** to be fair, it IS a little on the neural sensors…

 **Legs:** the taxmen are dumb, might as well have some fun :D

 **Smokefinger:** exactly, my young compatriot. Exactly.

 **Legs:** idk what that means but ok, ik i hope the chat name’s here to stay!

 **Ticker:** me too Legs, it’s so obvious they won’t think it’s us :>

 **Smokefinger:** reverse psychology!

 **Legs:** idk what that is either uhhh sorry to bother ya

 **Ticker:** yeah sure that

 **Ticker:** aw you’re fine Legs you’re def not the only one

 **Little Duck:** i just realized i legit don’t know anyone here except biz and eudi and mayyybe zuud if she actually says anything uhhh help

 **The Business:** Please don’t call me “Biz”.

 **Little Duck:** biz biz biz biz biz >:)

 **The Business:** Sigh.

 **Ticker:** Biz you do know literally no one calls you “The Business” except to your face right? it’s too much of a mouthful

 **Little Duck:** you might have broken him lmao

 **Legs:** well uhhh anyway i’m legs, nice to meetcha! i sell moas and i’ll never cheat ya!

 **Little Duck:** biz where did you and eudi find this kid hes adorable

 **Legs:** :D

 **Little Duck:** biz

 **Little Duck:** bizzzzzz

 **Little Duck:** stop ignoring me bizzzzzzzzzzzz

 **Ticker:** well anyway, I’m Ticker :>

 **Ticker:** officially I sell random bits of scrap

 **Ticker:** unofficially… let’s just say I do what I can to stop repos and leave it at that

 **Little Duck:** nice, never can go wrong there

 **Little Duck:** so how bout you smoky

 **Smokefinger:** uh

 **Little Duck:** do you mind if i call you smoky cause im gonna do it anyway ask biz

 **Smokefinger:** I do some mining, occasionally convince Tenno to do it for me because of the voiddamned quotas. nothing that interesting really. I do sell some things to them as well, though.

 **Ticker:** lol who doesn’t sell some shit to the Tenno, really, I think we all do

 **Little Duck:** lol yeah

 **Eudico:**  I leave for FIVE minutes

 **Eudico:** but also, same.


	2. Chapter 2

**Legs:** _@Little Duck_ uh hey

**Legs:** mind if I take a couple minutes outta your day?

**Ticker:** I was about to point out you didn’t rhyme lol

**Legs:** nice try, but I’m good at rhyming things on the fly :D

**Little Duck:** yeah legs whats up

**Legs:** so are you like… the Little Duck? the one that’s got the taxmen stuck?

**Little Duck:** lol ld is fine kid

**Little Duck:** and idk about the little duck

**Little Duck:** but idk about any other ones so ye

**Legs:** :o you’re so cool tho, like it’s kinda crazy y’know

**Little Duck:** uhhhh sure yeah

**Ticker:** not to interrupt but this is a groupchat

**Ticker:** and he’s right you know :>

**Ticker:** nobody knew who you were but you were right up there next to Vox, pissed off Nef so damn much. Think he still has a fairly hefty bounty out on you

**Little Duck:** lol i mean im not surprised

**Little Duck:** just blew up some shit but it was pretty important shit so

**Little Duck:** couldn’t have done any of it without vox tho let’s be honest here

**Eudico:** you definitely could’ve

**The Business:** Oh no, it absolutely was all Vox.

**The Business:** We couldn’t have done it without Vox.

**Eudico:** Vox wasn’t that important

**Ticker:** lol Vox is absolutely that important

**Eudico:** well I mean

**Ticker:** what do you have against them Eudi?? :<

**Eudico:** what

**Eudico:** nothing

**Little Duck:** lol

**Eudico:** D, I can literally see you ignoring some Tenno to type that.

**Little Duck:** they need to lose the rigs first

**Little Duck:** shit nevermind brb

**Ticker:** doesn’t sound like nothing, you ok? :<

**Ticker:** Eudi?

**The Business:** She blames Vox for Deck 12.

**Ticker:** wh

**Ticker:** Deck 12 wasn’t Vox’s fault!

**Ticker:** right?? :<

**The Business:** Of course not. No one could have known what was going to happen, not even Vox. But sometimes, finding someone, anyone to blame helps to cope.

**Eudico:** Biz.

**Eudico:** why.

**The Business:** Why not?

**Eudico:** I’m right here.

**The Business:** Good. This is something you need to hear too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Eudico hates Vox" is _absolutely_ going to be a running gag and may or may not impact some later events. As in, Eudico eventually slips up and everyone's like "lol nah can't be her, she hates Vox" and Eudi's just over here like "???ok???" 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and let me know if you have any ideas for future chapters! They're _much_ appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rumor Come Out: Does Biz Is Vox?
> 
> ~~Obviously we know the answer, but not everyone here does.~~

**Ticker:** anyone else curious who Vox is?

**Eudico:** no

**Ticker:** yeah we know you hate them Eudi that’s been established

**Eudico:** I don’t hate Vox

**Ticker:** sure starlight it’s ok

**Eudico:** I don’t.

**Ticker:** right, and I’m a moa. 

**Legs:** I’m curious! She makes the taxmen furious!

**Ticker:** she?

**Legs:** o shit

**Eudico:** Legs!

**Legs:** sorry

**Eudico:** language!

**Legs:** I dunno it really, I just assumed Vox could be a he or a they

**Ticker:** or a she

**Legs:** could be?

**Ticker:** I think she is

**Eudico:** you trying to tell us something Ticker?

**Ticker:** what

**Eudico:** are you Vox?

**Ticker:** lol nah, you?

**Ticker:** Eudi?

**Legs:** think she went afk, getting some Tenno to ruin the taxmen’s day

**Ticker:** ohhh ok

**Eudico:** I don’t think Vox is female, could be wrong though.

**Ticker:** well they’ve got to be someone in SU, right?

**Ticker:** maybe Biz?

**Eudico:** I mean

**Eudico:** could be

**Ticker:** wait

**Ticker:** actually no, I don’t think they’re Zuud.

**Ticker:** is she even in this chat?

**Eudico:** yeah, but she’s got it muted. said something about having enough chatter to deal with already. if anything really important comes up I’ll ping her.

**Ticker:** could be LD

**Ticker:** hey  _ @Little Duck _ are you Vox?

**Little Duck:** lmao if i was i wouldnt tell you

**Little Duck:** personally i think vox is biz

**Ticker:** _@The Business_ well?

**Ticker:** Biz?

**Little Duck:** biz

**The Business:** What.

**Ticker:** are you Vox?

**The Business:** I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.

**Ticker:** so you’re Vox

**The Business:** No.

**Eudico:** you hesitated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you squint really hard you might catch a hint of my big Fortuna rarepair. I might write a fic between them someday. But that day is not today... :< someday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might be projecting a bit onto Little Duck here. Just a bit. Also, did you want the ventkids? Because they're here! (Through no fault of LD's, of course.)

**Little Duck:** so does anyone actually know our mates name right outside fortuna

**Little Duck:** the one always saying he doesnt miss his organics

**Little Duck:** cause for one thing thats relatable af its cold as balls out here

**Little Duck:** but also he knows my name and i feel like i should know his

**Eudico:** first off, what in the Void were you doing out there??

**Little Duck:** chatting with boon

**Little Duck:** he and roky want in to this chat btw dunno how they found out about it

**Eudico:** I’ll consider it

**Eudico:** but also, D, are you serious? You don’t know his name?

**Little Duck:** im bad with names ok

**Little Duck:** like it took me two years to figure out yours

**Eudico:** it WHAT

**Little Duck:** why do you think i use nicknames for everyone eudi

**Smokefinger:** do you remember my name?

**Little Duck:** its literally on the screen

**Little Duck:** so ye

**Smokefinger:** and I for one, vote for letting Roky and Boon in this chat. I might actually get some mucking sleep!

**The Business:** If it’s between getting no sleep from their music or getting no sleep from chat notifications, I’m with Smokefinger.

**Ticker:** lol I thought you liked skeg, Biz :<

**The Business:** Certainly not in the middle of a night-cycle when I’m trying to sleep!

**Ticker:** ...you have a point

**Eudico:** mates, you do realize I’m the only one who can actually let them in, right?

**Eudico:** convince me.

**Legs:** aww, you should let them in! Then I won’t be the youngest person :<

**Eudico:** I

**Eudico:** you know what, fine.

**Eudico** added  **Roky** ,  **Boon** to  **Not the SU Groupchat**

**Smokefinger:** I sincerely doubt either of them will be logging in for a time, their… skeg, is it? Is very, very loud currently.

**Boon:** howzit!

**Smokefinger:** I stand corrected.

**Smokefinger:** Actually, I sit corrected.

**Ticker:** lol

**Eudico:** out of… curiosity, how did you and Roky find out about this chat?

**Boon:** oooo, this is THE chat?

**Roky:** ye, Duck told us

**Eudico:** ...D.

**Little Duck:** oh would you look at the time ive got a meeting with a friend in cetus better clock it

**Boon:** bye Duck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely didn't have this chapter sitting around for a while. Nope. In my defense, I had to make a decision on whether I wanted to make this for sure in the same canon as my other fics or ambiguous enough that it could take place in anyone's canon.
> 
> I went for the latter, so you'll notice it's not a part of my Warframe series anymore. Not officially, anyway, although you should absolutely read my other Warframe fics anyway. And I might add it back in anyway, we'll see. :>


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I have no excuse for how long this has been sitting in my drive unposted except that I've been super busy. Also, Ticker falls for Eudico. In a literal sense, and not in a shippy sense, although my rarepair senses are tingling again.
> 
> Also, I love Zuud.

**Ticker:** _@Little Duck_ just so you know, our mate Biz is currently sweet talking a virmink one of the Tenno brought in and Void, it’s adorable

**Little Duck:** you say that like he doesnt do that pretty damn often

**Ticker:** ...true

**Eudico:** take a vid

**Ticker:** without him seeing me? Eudi, Ticker’s astounding and she knows it but we both know I’m not that subtle.

**Little Duck:** says the cove smuggling out more these days than i am and im the actual rail agent

**Ticker:** that’s different!

**Ticker:** and ok I might be able to skew it, he seems pretty distracted but he’s not THAT distracted… :<

**Eudico:** lean over the top? Biz never looks up. bit of a problem back in the day.

**Little Duck:** lol yeah i think i still have the footage of the time a taxmen squad got beamed in on top of him

**Ticker:** that sounds priceless

**Eudico:** you do?

**Little Duck:** void yes i do

**Eudico:** send it to me.

**Little Duck:** on it

**Ticker:** send it my way too, just won’t be able to watch it for a bit. this surprisingly isn’t the most awkward position I’ve been in to take a vid.

**Eudico:** sounds like there’s a story behind that one.

**Ticker:** oh there is, hun, you’re not getting it tho :>

**Ticker:** and shit, Legs sees me

**Little Duck:** oof

**Legs:** uhhh 

**Legs:** what the

**Little Duck:** shes taking a vid

**Legs:** of Biz? what did I miss?

**Little Duck:** ill send you it kid

**Legs:** :D can’t see Biz from over here, what’s going on? should I be scared?

**Little Duck:** not really just dont make it obvious if you do look

**Legs:** OH

**Legs:** do you think he’ll let me pet it? No?

**Little Duck:** probably but dont ask now

**Eudico:** if he lets you pet the virmink, let me know. He still hasn’t let me touch one of them after… actually, we’re not talking about that right now.

**Ticker:** Eudi, you can’t say that and not spill.

**Eudico:** I can, I am, and stop texting while filming.

**Ticker:** it’s called multitas

**Eudico:** Ticker?

**Ticker:** MUCKIN VOID ABORT ABORT

**The Business:** _@Ticker_ What exactly are you doing?

**Ticker:** nothing currently, I tripped. Fine now. Why do you ask?? :>

**The Business:** ...no reason. Please try to keep your balance in the future. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to return to.

**Little Duck:** work

**Little Duck:** right

**Eudico:** well if he’s not calling you out on that, he’s definitely not in the chat right now. we’re safe. probably. 

**Little Duck:** ticks do you have it

**Ticker:** what do you think, D? :>

**Little Duck:** void yes

**Ticker:** I’ll drop it by in a few, gonna run it by Legs and Eudi first.

**Rude Zuud:** send it to me too.

**Little Duck:** wait zuud i thought you had notifications off

**Rude Zuud:** i do.

**Rude Zuud:** i was curious about what kind of idiocy led ticker to fall off the upper level.

**Ticker:** not really idiocy so much as… actually I’m not even gonna try and deny that one. :>

**Rude Zuud:** fine, WE were curious! just. just send me a muckin copy ok. 

**Rude Zuud:** US. FINE.

**Little Duck:** will do

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, why not give my other Warframe ones a go? This fic is very, very loosely set in that universe, but it could easily take place in yours too. Or in any universe, really. Or even in canon. Y'know what, screw it, it's canon now sorry I don't make the rules. Solaris United absolutely has a group chat where they gossip about things like that one Tenno who keeps trying to get floofs but absolutely _sucks_ at stealth. Or in other words, me. :<


End file.
